HIS timing is perfect!

Today I am 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant with little Noah. I have to say I have learned a lot this week about patience and grace as the long awaited due date has passed. As I go to work each day and hear over and over and over again "you're still here?" and "when are you going to have that baby?" I can't help but get frustrated thinking "if I knew I would tell you!!!" Then I stop and think to myself how many women would want to be in my shoes? How many women wish that someone would ask them those questions? I realized that although I am getting impatient with people and anxious about him arriving I have no reason to be. What a blessing that people can ask me when I am finally going to have this baby and the fact that I am still at work only means he is getting stronger and stronger in my belly each day. This time is a blessing and I need to appreciate the swollen ankles, the achy legs, and the back pain because it is a part of something so much greater and it is the result of something precious!

Experience the loss of a child and the full development of a child really puts things in to a different perspective for me. As I reach each milestone with Noah I think about how my first baby didn't get that chance. As I endure the common aches and pains of pregnancy I realize those are all blessings and not hardships because the fact that I get to experience them is a blessing in itself. The fact that Noah is cooking a little longer is also a blessing because its an opportunity for him to get a little bit stronger before he comes out! Yes I want to go back to the thoughts of "I wish he was just here already!" and "How much longer is this going to take?" but that's not what is important. What is important is that the Lord is showing me His love and grace by causing me to place this pregnancy in His hands and to trust that the Lord knows the timing of when Noah will come and I need to stop worrying about it. He has really taught me a lot about myself through this pregnancy too that I worry and don't trust that God is in control. This past week I have really been able to submit all that to the Lord which has been such a stress relief for me and has made the waiting more enjoyable and peaceful. Yes I am still anxious for him to be here but it's only because I am just so excited to have him in my arms whereas before I was anxious for him to be here because I was afraid if he was in my belly any longer something bad would happen. This all goes back to my first loss which I have had to completely surrender to the Lord because a lot of fear and worry trickled in to this pregnancy from that one. I have learned very quickly as well that this is the first of many moments that I am going to have to surrender in regards to my child.

As I think about what is to come with my precious baby boy and having him in my arms I can't help but stop and think about all my friends and loved ones who long for that moment and are struggling with the heartache of loss or infertility. My heart aches for them and I hope they are encouraged that the Lord hears the desires of their heart and HIS timing is in fact perfect. I know when you want something so bad such as a child and you see everyone around you getting that blessing it seems like there is no hope for you because I have been there and I know that pain. Psalm 10:17 says "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry." I hope that comes as some encouragement that the Lord does hear your desires and He does listen. His timing is perfect even though it may not always match up with our timing. I never want to take anything for granted because I know there are so many who would love this opportunity with the pregnancy aches and pains and all and I pray that they will one day experience it to the fullest!!

40 Week Appointment!

Well I will be 40 weeks this coming Saturday WOO HOO and my little muffin just wants to keep on baking! I went to the Dr. today for my 40 week appointment and she said his heart rate sounds AWESOME and taking a guess he is close to 8 POUNDS!! I am 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced so he could come any moment at any time. I think he is pretty cozy right now in my belly though because he knows how crazy cold it is outside! If I make it to next week I will go in on Tuesday for another ultrasound to check fluid levels and everything just to make sure things are on target. My Dr. said that if he does not make his arrival by next Friday then she is going to induce me because the practice I go to doesn't let you go past 41 weeks! So who knows, I could possibly have a February baby...I am praying for January though :) but God knows when my little man will come!

I have been having contractions off and on for about a week and a half now. Talk about a tease! They were 15 minutes apart up until last night when they were consistently 10 minutes apart from about 8:30 pm to 3:30 am! That's right...I was up the entire time because I was so distracted I couldn't fall asleep. So I went to work today on about 2 1/2 hours of sleep :) I am sure everyone thought I was a walking zombie! I plan to work up until I deliver. I mean I work at the hospital where I will be delivering so why not? Everyone jokes about who will be the one to wheel me up to labor and delivery. I think the famous line at the hospital EVERY day that people say to me is "you're still here!" I'm ready to not hear that anymore hehe ;)

For the past 3 weeks I have been sleeping in a recliner. Since New Years weekend I have had this horrible cough so sleeping in a recliner is the only way I can sleep. I'm surprised my coughing hasn't sent me in to labor already!! My sweet husband could sleep in our bed but he has chosen to sleep on the couch every night so that I wouldn't be alone! I just had to brag on him for that because I think that's super sweet :)

Aaron and I are just waiting, waiting, waiting for this little man to arrive and we are SO EXCITED to be parents and don't take this blessing for granted!!! Below is a couple of pics of the nursery too :)

Here is my 39 week pic! Don't have a 40 week pic yet so can't post that one!

I am sure this will be my common place of sleep for the first couple of months!

I love his little play area! The bear on the top shelf was Aaron's bear when he was a baby :)

This is a growth chart my wonderful friend Franny Binkowski made Noah! I love it!!

My sister had one of her co-workers at Pottery Barn Kids make this painting for me and it is one of my favorite parts of his room!

Can't wait to put pictures in those frames!! I love all the cute little clothes that fill those drawers too!



37 Week Appointment!

Well I had my 37 week appointment yesterday but technically I am 37 weeks and 3 days :). I think I am the only one though who keeps track of EVERY SINGLE DAY haha! I met with Dr. Grider today and I absolutely LOVE her!! She was the Dr. who did my surgery when I had my miscarriage and she always has a way of easing my mind when I have concerns and she has the biggest heart of gold. I had some questions at my last visit but didn't get the chance to ask because the Dr. in that visit pretty much rushed me out the door (There is one in every bunch I guess that you just aren't too sure about) but Dr. Grider of course took the time to sit down and talk with me about my questions so I feel much better! I am going through the rotation right now but next week I will be back with my OBGYN Dr. Dutton who is THE BEST :) I love a lot of the Dr.'s in the practice but she is just AMAZING!!

Anyway...BABY UPDATE! I am 2.5 cm dilated and 50% effaced! Noah is head down still and ready :) I can't believe how real this is starting to feel!!! She didn't say he would come early or anything but the Dr. did say that I am progressing rather quickly for where I am at in my pregnancy so basically my waiting game has begun because he could come any day now! I still need to get a sheet for his bassinet, hang his curtains in his room, pack my hospital bag, clean my house, etc. etc. etc. but it's ok! Those things will come I am just so excited for him to get here!

They did an ultrasound to check his growth and my fluid levels to make sure everything was still going okay and he is measuring 3 days ahead of schedule and is said to be 7 pounds!! He is so healthy and I feel overwhelmingly blessed! The ultrasound tech tried to get a 3-D picture of his face for me but he had it smooshed up against my uterus so much we couldn't see him haha. I think he just wants me to be so surprised by his cuteness in person ;). I can't wait to have him in my arms and to introduce him to everyone!!

I wanted to upload some pics but the blog website is acting up and won't let me :( Maybe it will let me later...