Mother's Day Thoughts...

This week has been a little hard to say the least as I am constantly reminded that Mother's Day is this weekend. I keep thinking about how I would have been a mother and how excited I was knowing that I was going to be pregnant on Mother's Day. I probably would have known the gender by now too. Throughout the day I hear people say "Have a great Mother's Day this weekend" and in my mind I think " How can it be great I am not a mother anymore:(". Emotions have been stirring within me all week of what it would have been like to celebrate the fact that I was pregnant on Mother's Day and know that one day that child would call me Mommy! There have been lots of tears this week as my husband can attest to but once again, Aaron so lovingly reminds me that our God knows our heartache and the pain I feel right now is the same pain God experienced when His son was dying on the cross. That's pretty powerful stuff because God's pain was probably ten times greater than my own. I take comfort in knowing that God completely understands my pain and that He can be my ultimate comforter.

 

Today I have decided to change my mind set about Mother's Day :). Although it will be hard being around lots and lots of mommy's who are celebrating the fact that they are mommy's with a physical child in front of them, I can still say that I AM a Mommy! I HAVE a child in heaven!! Although that child is not presently with me it will ALWAYS be my child! Motherhood lasted only a short time for me in this present moment but I will always be the Mother of that baby...what a comfort to know that when I meet my baby in heaven it will know I am MOM :). A sweet friend sent me a Mother's Day card in the mail this week too which made me feel so good knowing that my baby hasn't been forgotten and that its 9 weeks of life in my belly was important. That small gesture meant the world to me because it let me know that my baby is loved and that people know that I am still a mommy even though I don't have the physical evidence of it anymore. I thank God every day for those little blessings of encouragement.

 

I am looking forward to Mother's Day as a time to spend with my family and I pray that I will have joy in this present moment as I remember my little one. We have an eventful weekend ahead of us with Aaron's graduation and Mother's Day at the track but I will update you more on that later :).