"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Well I have finally given in to the blogging world and I have to admit I think this may be fun! I may need some help from my best friend Alex though to figure out exactly what I am doing! :) I thought this would be a great way to just share what is on my heart as a hope to encourage others.

I wanted to start my first post with the verse Hebrews 11:1 because this is a verse I am having to cling to at this point in my life.  As some of you may know and some of you may not know, My husband Aaron and I have been going through a very hard time these past two months. It will be 8 weeks tomorrow when we found out on March 8th, 2012  that our first precious baby went to be with the Lord. I was 9 weeks pregnant and the joys and excitment of becoming parents was all so sweet. We had so many plans and hopes for the future and names picked out as well. There were so many exciting thoughts of what the future would hold and the excitment of having my baby before the winter holidays brought me so much joy because that would have been such a great opportunity for family to enjoy the new bundle of life. In that one moment when you realize its all gone the first thing you say is "Why?" or "Why me?" That has been a question that I have been wrestling with since it happened and I have to keep telling myself that God is faithful. Although I don't see what the reason was for this happening right now I can have a hope that He will one day bless us with another child and that God is faithful to his children. As hard as it is to glorify God is heartache and suffering that is my main goal...still working on it ;).

I have come a long way in my thinking regarding this matter...I kept thinking there was something wrong with me for being so angry, bitter, sad, etc...but so many wonderful friends and family have stopped me and reminded me that its okay to mourn and to grieve the loss of a child. That was comforting for me to know that what I was feeling was normal and that I wasn't "wierd" for feeling these things...silly sounding I know but you wouldn't believe the crazy things that goes through your mind when something like this happens...anyway...I would love it if you would continue to keep me in your prayers as we get through this tough season of life and pray that we will be reminded of God's faithfulness to us.

Aaron and I have really been learning to cling to the cross through this time which honestly is something I think we so often forget to do. Although I still have many days of sadness and longing for that child to be back in my belly, I do have a renewed hope that God knows the desires of my heart and that longing to be a mother will one day come to fruition. Right now Aaron and I are just learning to be patient on the Lord's timing...which can be so so hard :). Children are such a blessing from the Lord but we have to remember that the child belonged to God before it ever belonged to us. I seek comfort in knowing that our Heavenly Father is holding our baby and what greater love is there than being in the Father's arms. Aaron and I are so excited for the day when we will see our baby face to face in heaven :).